Thirsty

A few months ago, God revealed to me one night that I’ve never been content with him alone. He spoke to my heart and showed me instances where I had put people, things, dreams, and plans ahead of him. Essentially I created idols.

Some time has past since this revelation, but my struggle really isn’t any different. Jesus says in John 4 that if we drink the water he gives, we will never be thirsty again.

So if I am really a Christian, then why am I never quenched? Why am I so unsatisfied with life that I either numb myself so I won’t feel the pain anymore, or I busy myself so I’ll forget how unfulfilled I feel?

I’ve been listening to a podcast from The Village Church on Ecclesiastes. The speaker is Matt Chandler, head pastor at The Village.

From his study of Ecclesiastes, he concluded that Solomon tested pleasure through saturation, but was uniquely able to retain his wisdom through the entire experiment.

Basically, Solomon’s experiment went through three stages. He moved from the party scene to a stage of hard work and achievement, and lastly to a life of wealth and ease.

Solomon did everything there was to do and still felt bored and restless and unfulfilled.

Now, I’m not Solomon. I haven’t thrown parties for 20,000 people a night, or spent 14 years building a luxurious home. And I certainly haven’t had 700 wives.

However, I have traveled a bit. I’ve thrown myself into school and coveted bylines to feel accomplished. And I’ve done the whole materialistic, shopping bit. I own enough pairs of designer jeans to know that you can still feel empty at the end of the day even with a full closet.

Chandler tapped into some of what I’m feeling when he shared his view that when sin entered the world and fractured it, we exchanged our love for God with a love for his creation.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that God has placed eternity in our hearts.

Chandler’s argument is that at some level, our souls remember what life was like before the fall…that the soul has a groove cut into it that remembers that at one time we were full and happy, and there was nothing weighing us down.

All of creation is groaning to fill the groove. The problem, he says, is that the groove is shaped like eternity and all we have to fill it is temporary.

We are continuing to chase what has never fulfilled us before, and are on an endless treadmill of acquisition and self-help.

Chandler concludes that we need to get serious about wholeness, and move toward the fullness of Christ.

I know I hate the treadmill, but sometimes jumping off into the unfamiliar is absolutely terrifying.