On Easter Sunday, the pastor spoke on experiencing the gospel personally. He said that before he became a Christian, he prayed that God would reveal himself on an individual level. I’ve prayed that prayer myself a few times this week. I’m not really sure what it would look like for God to visibly and obviously show up. This used to be a source of bitterness/anger for me, but lately I’ve found myself living an Ecclesiastes sort of life: There’s a time for everything, but in the end, everything will fade away, and so we might as well make the most of the present.

Maybe I’ll be ok even if I never have concrete answers to the confusion rattling around in my head. Maybe all I need to do is remind myself why I became a Christian in the first place: Because I had a thirst that needed quenching. Maybe instead of talking circles or dealing with endless frustration, I should just go and meet with God in the one place where I never have any doubts…at the spot where the waves hit the sand. The union between ocean and land has always been one of comfort for me because I know that something holds it together, and that something has to be greater than myself.

“God has an incredibly high view of people. God believes that people are capable of amazing things. I have been told that I need to believe in Jesus. Which is a good thing. But what I am learning is that Jesus believes in me. I have been told that I need to have faith in God. Which is a good thing. But what I am learning is that God has faith in me.”-Velvet Elvis, Rob Bell

When I’m at the beach and moved by the beauty and symmetry of nature, I’m compelled to pray. I’m compelled to think about the creator of the post card setting before me. Maybe God has faith that my faith will never die out completely but will burn on. Maybe God believes in me. I hope he does.