Well, today is the final day of NaBloPoMo. I made it (actually, I missed one day, but hopefully you didn’t notice!), and I’m feeling relieved. I’ve enjoyed blogging more regularly than I ever had in the past, but I don’t think I’ve become a daily blogger just yet. I was more motivated to write on some days than others, and certain topics were easy to open up about while others were more difficult. Plus, I’m a quality over quantity type of writer, so I’d rather post a bit infrequently than blog just for the sake of blogging.

Now excuse me…I have an LSAT to prepare for. Hopefully life will become interesting and provide me with writing fodder again soon.

Fashion Fades, Style is Eternal

If you can, visit the YSL exhibit at the de Young in San Francisco. The collection is absolutely breathtaking and an exceptional tribute to the late designer. Though photography technically wasn’t allowed, I did sneak a few photos. Excuse the quality of my flashless photography!

I loved the colors of this silk gown and wrap:

This was his tribute to Vincent van Gogh:

Nothing is more playful than polka dots:

Left My Heart in San Francisco

I’m sitting in an adorable cafe in SF, preparing for my morning LSAT study session (the rest of the family is still asleep, of course). This is my first time in the city in more than a year, and it’s absolute bliss to be back. As I walked up Fillmore last night and browsed shop windows, sparkling with white Christmas lights, I realized that I was and am happy…though the past year didn’t turn out as expected, I’ve retained my desire to be a life long learner, willing to soak up experiences and grow as a person wherever I am in the world. Today marks a trip to the de Young to catch the Yves Saint Laurent exhibit…pictures to follow tomorrow!

Happy Thanksgiving!

“Love generously, Praise loudly, Live fully.” -Elias Porter

“Perhaps it takes a purer faith to praise God for unrealized blessings than for those we once enjoyed or those we enjoy now.” -A.W. Tozer

“Thanksgiving is nothing if not a glad and reverent lifting of the heart to God in honor and praise for his goodness.” -Robert Casper Lintner

Muddled

My head is all over the place tonight. Here’s just a small glimpse inside…

-I can’t wait to spend the next few days in San Fran, and for tomorrow’s dessert of pumpkin pie. I’m dragging my feet on that whole packing thing though…it’s never been my favorite.

-I’m healthily stressed out about the LSAT, in the sort of way that means I’m motivated to move forward. I’m cautiously optimistic too, since today’s practice sets went much better than expected.

-I’m having major DMB withdrawals, and I’m currently listening to #41 to make up for it.

-I realized that I’ve barely scratched the surface on processing my time in L.A., and what exactly the purpose of the past year was.

-I’m exhausted, and I wish I had more energy and more hours in each day to pursue my passions.

Must Bake

Pumpkin Glazed Cookies…aka heaven. I’ve been waiting all year to bake these, and tonight was the night!

2 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. salt
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup butter (softened)
1 cup pumpkin
1 large egg
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Heat oven to 350 degrees, and grease baking sheets. Combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt in a medium bowl. Beat sugar and butter in a large mixer bowl until well blended. Beat in pumpkin, egg, and vanilla extract until smooth. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Drop by rounded tablespoon (or use a cookie scoop for perfect roundness!) onto prepared baking sheets. Bake for 15-18 minutes or until edges are firm. Cool on baking sheets for two minutes, then remove to wire racks to cool completely. Drizzle with glaze. Makes 2-3 dozen.

Glaze:
Combine 2 cups sifted powder sugar, 3 tablespoons milk, 1 tablespoon melted butter, and 1 tablespoon vanilla extract in small bowl until smooth (I cut this in half since you end up with a lot of glaze – modify however you prefer).

LSAT Countdown

I’ve started dreaming about the LSAT. I’m not quite sure if this is a healthy sign or not. However, if my subconscious is helping me sort out Games in my sleep, then I’m all for it. I started the Reading Comprehension section yesterday, and my goal is to finish studying it by tonight, leaving me plenty of time to practice, practice, practice! December 6 is just a little too soon for comfort…time for me to hit up Starbucks for my morning study/tea session.

Walk by Faith, Part II

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” -Romans 8:38-39

Where there is pain
Let there be grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Help them be brave
Where there is misery
Bring expectancy
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Something

And the problem it seems
Is with you and me
Not the Love who came
To repair everything

And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that
-Surely We Can Change, David Crowder Band

Last night before bed, I thought more about my fear of making decisions and walking by faith, and realized that a misguided belief is at the root of the issue. I’m afraid that I’m capable of making a choice that will result in God retracting His love, thereby separating me from Him.

I’ve been a Christian since I was nine, yet I’m still struggling to figure out what it means to be on the receiving end of unconditional love. Like David Crowder writes, I don’t know what to do with a love like that or how to be a love like that. God’s overwhelming and unending love for me and for us is still a foreign concept that I struggle to wrap my brain around. However, if I fully understood how it worked and had my relationship with Him all figured out, there wouldn’t be much need for faith.

What I know for sure is that I absolutely need God in my life. I don’t always understand His grace or His love, but I’ve personally experienced His forgiveness and rescue, and I never want to turn my back on Him again. Writer Flannery O’Connor summed up faith in a letter to a friend struggling with doubt: “When I ask myself how I know I believe, I have no satisfactory answer at all, no assurance at all, no feeling at all. I can only say with Peter, ‘Lord, I believe, help me with my unbelief.’ And all I can say about my love of God is, ‘Lord, help me in my lack of it.’” I pray that God will continue to chip away at my unbelief, refining my heart daily.

Walk by Faith

“We as Christians and we as a broader culture are having trouble making choices. One of the best ways I think of what commitment always means is making a choice to give up other choices. It always means that. It’s a problem for Christians because we’re affected by our culture of choice and the idea that we should keep hanging on to all of our options in life. The real spiritual path, however, is not going to be making sure that we hold on to every option. It’s going to be being wise and being willing to give up options for the deeper, truer path God wants us to be on…We are lots of times waiting for the burning bush, but if one is waiting for the burning bush, it’s not real consistent with something else Paul said that was pretty important. He said ‘we walk by faith and not by sight.’ So if we’re supposed to walk by faith and not by sight and that’s what it means to really be a deeply committed Christian, that means He’s usually not giving us a burning bush. If He is, there’s not faith in that. Faith comes from having a pretty good sense of what God cares about and doing our best with the choices and then struggling with what that means.” -Scott Stanley

(Ed. note: My emphasis added)

If you really stop and think about it, we’re all confronted with hundreds of decisions a day. We decide what to wear, what to eat for breakfast, whether we will order a grande or a venti at Starbucks, where we will fill up our gas tanks, who we will call or email, what we will do with our limited free time after work, where we will go on vacation….and the list goes on.

God blessed us with a culture of choice. However, each time we choose A, we don’t choose B or C, meaning that we have effectively limited our options. If we spend our time wondering how things could have been if we made a different choice, we have the potential to waste our lives and never truly grow in our present situations.

Decisions scare me, especially the big ones like where to work or live. I’m overwhelmed by my choices, and most of the time, I’d absolutely love for God to direct me with a burning bush. Fortunately for me, He doesn’t always give me what I want. Sometimes He allows me to make choices, trusting me to use the guidance of the Word and the Holy Spirit as I move forward on the path.

Walking by faith is not easy. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and risk is definitely involved. Despite all of that, I’m grateful that God loves me enough to entrust me with the responsibility of choice.

Taste of Fall

Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory happens to make one of my favorite non-chocolate desserts: The Apple Pie Caramel Apple. Feast your eyes, my friends. These are absolutely delish and a weekly must have at my house.