For Those Afraid

I’m a literal and concrete person. I like structure, and practical application. In Myers-Briggs lingo, I’m an ISTJ (A future post analyzing the way I fit this personality type is in the works, btw). Because of these aspects of my personality, faith can be challenging for me. It’s not easy for me to follow an entity that seems unknown most of the time, or to put my trust in something that I can’t see or plan. Christianity often terrifies me. Thankfully, God is patient with me and my paltry offerings. This was my prayer during Monday’s quiet time:

“God, forgive me for only praising you when life seems ‘good’ and it’s easy to recognize your blessings. I feel like my faith is still so small, and that I’m far too quick to turn away from you. I pray for a childlike faith that is not based on the circumstances of the world, but on unconditional hope. I have a problem relinquishing control, and for that, I pray for your mercy. I’m scared that if I surrender everything, the path you’ll lead me down will be a miserable and joyless one. Forgive me for my wrong beliefs about you. Bring me to a place of contentment with you.”

Five minutes later, I opened to Romans 8:15 and read this:

“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry ‘Abba, Father.’”

Perhaps all I really need is for Him to help me be brave.