Walk by Faith, Part II

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” -Romans 8:38-39

Where there is pain
Let there be grace
Where there is suffering
Bring serenity
For those afraid
Help them be brave
Where there is misery
Bring expectancy
And surely we can change
Surely we can change
Something

And the problem it seems
Is with you and me
Not the Love who came
To repair everything

And I don’t know
What to do with a love like that
And I don’t know
How to be a love like that
-Surely We Can Change, David Crowder Band

Last night before bed, I thought more about my fear of making decisions and walking by faith, and realized that a misguided belief is at the root of the issue. I’m afraid that I’m capable of making a choice that will result in God retracting His love, thereby separating me from Him.

I’ve been a Christian since I was nine, yet I’m still struggling to figure out what it means to be on the receiving end of unconditional love. Like David Crowder writes, I don’t know what to do with a love like that or how to be a love like that. God’s overwhelming and unending love for me and for us is still a foreign concept that I struggle to wrap my brain around. However, if I fully understood how it worked and had my relationship with Him all figured out, there wouldn’t be much need for faith.

What I know for sure is that I absolutely need God in my life. I don’t always understand His grace or His love, but I’ve personally experienced His forgiveness and rescue, and I never want to turn my back on Him again. Writer Flannery O’Connor summed up faith in a letter to a friend struggling with doubt: “When I ask myself how I know I believe, I have no satisfactory answer at all, no assurance at all, no feeling at all. I can only say with Peter, ‘Lord, I believe, help me with my unbelief.’ And all I can say about my love of God is, ‘Lord, help me in my lack of it.’” I pray that God will continue to chip away at my unbelief, refining my heart daily.