i’ve been thinking…there is so much to say

Entries from February 2009

My Personality: ISTJ

February 16, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I’ve mentioned before that I’m an ISTJ (Translation: Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging). I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs assessment a few times, and my results have remained consistent.

From the various profiles I’ve read online, I identify most closely with these characteristics:

-ISTJs often give the initial impression of being aloof and perhaps somewhat cold. Effusive expression of emotional warmth is not something that ISTJs do without considerable energy loss.
I’ve always thought of myself as guarded and reluctant to open up. While I enjoy people and relationships, I’m more likely to have a few close friends that I can trust and be vulnerable with than a large group of acquaintances that drain my energy.

-ISTJs are easily frustrated by the inconsistencies of others, especially when the second parties don’t keep their commitments.
Because I’m such an advocate for quality time, I become frustrated when family members or friends blow me off for a “better” activity/outing/experience that came along, and change our previously made plans. I understand that I need to be flexible–after all, life is far from perfect or constant and people can’t always follow through with their commitments. However, I strive to be consistent with the people in my life, and I place a high value on the reciprocity of that quality.

-ISTJs will work for long periods of time and put tremendous amounts of energy into doing any task which they see as important to fulfilling a goal. However, they will resist putting energy into things that don’t make sense to them, or for which they can’t see a practical application, and they prefer to work alone.
When I believe that my role is crucial to a project and I can clearly identify the relationship between effort and reward in taking on the task, I’m extremely goal-oriented and driven by the desire to succeed. Because interacting with people does involve energy loss on my part, it’s much easier for me to work alone on projects than collaborate and be bogged down by input and opinions from others (I guess this explains my affinity for tennis and running–I’ve never been much of a team player).

-ISTJs are likely to be uncomfortable expressing affection and emotion to others.
I have a hard time verbalizing affection because I’ve always secretly believed that showing my emotion means revealing a weakness. I’m much more apt to express myself through cards or e-mails (If you know me at all, you know this is true).

-ISTJs have one character trait which puts them at a definite advantage in terms of career success – perseverance. An ISTJ can do almost anything that they have decided to do…an ISTJ will do best in a career in which they can use their excellent organizational skills and their powers of concentration to create order and structure. When you challenge me, you bring out the best in me and I rise to the occasion. Nothing stands in my way when I’m determined to succeed–I will lose sleep, work unceasingly, and tap into my abilities to concentrate and get the job done. I work best under pressure, and though I prefer an organized work space, I can also push past distractions when necessary and accomplish things in chaotic environments.

I believe that our personalities can change over time and be shaped by our life experiences. I also know that when I read ISTJ profiles, I find myself nodding my head in agreement, and feeling affirmed as I see myself reflected in the lists of characteristics and paragraphs of analysis. While I may not be an ISTJ forever, I definitely am one right now. Knowing this truth helps me understand why I react to situations the way that I do, and why I’m drawn to certain activities and not others. I’m not perfect and neither is my personality, but knowledge brings power: the power to change, the power to improve, the power to mature.

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Benefits of Confession

February 5, 2009 · 2 Comments

Confession is not easy for me. Admitting that I’m not perfect, relinquishing my pride, and asking for grace fills me with anxiety. However, I also know that when I experience freedom from that anxiety, I can breathe again. God is gracious enough to reach out to me when I’m treading water and set me on a solid rock.

I was browsing through the Facebook albums of an old friend this morning. I remembered our friendship that ended because of me, and hurtful words of judgment that I expressed to her years ago. Simultaneously, I remembered one of my dreams: that there will never be anyone that I put up walls with or am unwilling to talk to. I was overcome with a rush of conviction, and realized that I never apologized to her. I never admitted that I was wrong, or that I had failed in compassion.

This article by David Barshinger reminded me of the the benefits of confession:

Confession makes us real. It stops us from creating a web of lies to cover up our sins, and allows us to acknowledge our shortcomings to ourselves and those around us…

Confession sometimes heals relationships…When we confess our sins to a person we’ve wronged, that humble action opens a door for a softening of heart and a reconciliation that transcends pain inflicted.

Confession saves us from greater sin. It stops sin in its tracks and makes us face the consequences of our sin and see the consequences of further sin…

Confession confers God’s forgiveness. As Ps. 32:5 states, “I acknowledge my sin to you, and I did not cover up my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,’ and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.” When we stop pretending we’re innocent and admit our failures to God, only then can we experience the cleansing and healing of forgiveness.

I confessed, and I know that her response is now out of my control, but I’m thankful that God moved my heart toward obedience and stripped away my anxiety in the process.

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